旁白：这似乎是威廉姆斯堡某餐厅普通的一天(柔和)It seems like a normal day of the diner in Williamsburg.每个人该上班的上班该吐槽的吐槽。Everyone is all working and playing jokes on others as usual.但是别开玩笑了！〔提高嗓门〕But come on！这里是布鲁克林哎！This is Brooklyn！对于破产姐妹来说，一切皆有可能！Anything could happen to 2 broke girls！ Earl：〔对Han〕怎么了 伙计 你看起来很抑郁啊 What's up, my man? You look pretty down. Han：我在韩国的妈妈要把我逼疯了 My mother in Korea is working my last nerve , you
know, Earl? Earl：〔我只是客套一下〕我没想到你还真答复我。呃，Max，你能帮我接下话吗？I don't expect
a back and forth here. Uh, Max, do you wanna move in?
Max：韩 你不能一直让你妈欺负啊 Han, you can't let your mom keep bullying you. 勇敢地
面对她 你都 53 岁的人了 Stand up to her. You're a 53-year-old man. Han：麦克斯 我 29 Max, I am 29. Max：什么？ What?〔破音〕 Han：我才 29岁 I am 29.
Max：什么情况 你是返老还童(电影)吗 What do you got, a case of the Benjamin Buttons? Oleg：卡洛琳 韩说他才 29岁 Caroline, Han says he's 29. Caroline：什么 What?〔破音〕
Oleg：-韩 你确定 Han, are you sure?
Han：当然 你们怎么会觉得我很老呢 Yes, what makes you think I'm older? Caroline：所有的一切啊 你的发型 衣服 Well, everything--your hair, your clothes, 还有你送
我的生日礼物 一张5 块钱的支票 The $5 cheque you gave me for my birthday. 〔Han郁闷离场〕
(三个 robber进场) Max：〔走向门口〕你们好 有啥要帮助的吗 听起来真是真诚 Hi,can I help you? Oh,that
sounded so sincere.
Robber B：我有一个问题 I have one question. 你想活命吗 Do you want live? Max：其实 今天 活不活都行吧 Actually, today, I can go either way.
持枪Robber A：看到这个了吗 See this? 〔手在口袋中比划，让人看出枪的形状〕去餐厅里
让每一个人把钱包都放到这个袋子里Go around the diner,and have everyone fill it with the contents of their purse. 照做的话 大家都会没事 And if you do,nobody gets hurt. Max：〔接过袋子〕好的 好的 但我不知道你能拿到多少Okay, okay, okay, but, uh, I don't
know how much you're gonna collect here. 大部分的客户都拿硬币或他们菜园子里的新鲜西红柿结账的I mean, most of the customers pay with coins or fresh tomatoes from their garden. 〔到厄尔处 装钞票〕厄尔 听着 Uh, Earl, listen up. 那些穿大衣的人要抢劫咱们 We're being robbed by those women in the suits, 她们要大家都把钱拿出来 放到这个袋子里 And they want everyone to empty their stuff into this bag. Earl：麦克斯 抢和被抢我都经历过 Uh, Max,I've been on both sides of this situation. 最好的
方法是乖乖合作 And the best thing to do is play along.
Robber B：其他人都把双手举起来！All you other guys，raise your arms in surrender
〔Max装完钞票，走向Caroline，Caroline不知道发生了什么〕 Max：那个，卡洛琳 我要告诉你一件事 Okay, Caroline, I'm gonna tell you something, 不要
反应过激 and I don't want you to react. Caroline：你的债主还是找到你了？So your creditors finally found you？好了 咱们会一起度
过的 Alright, fine. We'll get through this together.
Max：听着 咱们遭抢劫了 Look, we're being robbed, 那个穿大衣的男人可能有枪 and that
guy in the suit might have a gun. 〔Caroline想叫没叫出来〕不要叫 按我说的做 保持冷静 No, no--just do what I say, and stay calm. 现在把你的钱拿出来放到这袋子里面 I need you to empty your purse into the trash bag.
Caroline：真不敢相信这种事居然发生了 I can't believe this is happening〔从包里掏钱〕 我
才攒了 2 美元 Just when I saved $2. 麦克斯 我不能死 Max, I can't die. 我绝不能穿着这么丑的衣服死去 I certainly can't die in this ugly uniform. 我是说 你穿着倒是很好看 I mean, it looks good on you. 〔面露囧色〕
Max：你是心脏病突发了吗 Are you having an heart attack? Caroline：我尿裤子了 I'm peeing. Max：你说什么 What do you mean?
Caroline：我被吓坏了 在尿裤子I'm really freaked out, and I'm peeing. 停不住了I can't
stop!
Max：停住 停住-----Just stop, stop!咬紧牙关 -好吗-Clench it. -Okay？ Caroline：〔低头看看〕不 没方法 No, can't.
Robber C：站到柜台前面来 Step out from behind the counter. Caroline：〔再低头看看〕抱歉 先生 我不行 Sorry, sir, I can't. Robber C：-为什么-Why?
Caroline：我在尿尿-Well, um, I'm peeing. Max：还在呢 Still? Oleg：〔拿着棍子走出来〕站一边去 姑娘们 Out of the way, girls. 我来搞定...I'll take down
this-.(踩到不明液体后滑倒) Robber C：离他远点 Get away from him. 〔对Caroline〕小姐 现在就站到柜台前来 Miss, you
need to get out from behind the counter now 不然我就-Before I---
Caroline：不要带我，带走她吧-uh, please take her, not me. 〔Max惊讶〕 Han：怎么回事 What's happening?
Caroline：韩 我们遭抢劫了 -太抱歉了-Han, we're being robbed.
Han：抱歉打搅你抢劫了-So sorry 请把我腰包里的每一分钱都拿出来吧 Please take
everything that is in my fanny-pack 不过 我可以把佛珠拿出来吗 Would it be possible if I took my prayer beads out? 这是我家传了几百年的〔Robber回头观察Max她们〕 They've been in my family for hundreds and hundreds of-〔掏枪，指着robber的头〕我可不这么想 小子 I don't think so, homegirl. 这是爷的地盘 你弱爆了You're in my house now. You suck.〔众人惊讶〕马上离开我的地盘Get out of here.
Robber A:这个看起来五十多岁的老女人竟然还有枪？This old woman in her 50s should
have a gun？
Han：我是个二十九岁的纯爷们I’m a 29-year-old real man. Robber A：什么？！What？！〔破音〕
Robber B::(对robber C耳语 但声音可以稍大)：不是吧！这个小个子老男人有真枪Oh my!
This tiny little old man has got a real gun！As far as I know，that gun in his pocket is
a fake one！
Robber C：怎么办怎么办？What do we do？What do we do？ Robber B：Run！ 〔Robber B C逃出舞台〕
旁白：如各位所见，韩在他五十三岁——抱歉，29岁〔后台演员：什么！〕时终于爷们了一
次。Caroline在Oleg醒过来之前清理了衣服。与此同时，Max有些不可思议因为Caroline把她推到了抢到面前而不是自己上去，但她也没说什么，只是在检查差点被从他们这里抢走的东西。As you see，Han acted like a man for the very first time at the age of 53---sorry，29〔后台演员：What！〕Caroline cleaned her uniform before Oleg came to himself. At the same time, Max was a little shocked because Caroline asked the robbers to take her away, but she didn’t say anything and just checked the stuff almost robbed of them.
〔Han用枪把Robber逼出舞台，离场。Caroline下台装作是去清理衣服，Max把钞票从袋
子里拿出来，Oleg醒过来走到Max旁〕
第二幕 餐厅〔决定逃票看电影〕
〔Caroline回到舞台〕
Oleg：这些是袋子里剩下的东西了 Here's what left in the bag.
Max：抱歉 没找到你的自尊〔对Caroline〕 Nope, sorry. I don't see your dignity. Caroline：麦克斯 别这样 Max, don't.
Oleg：你怎么能带着这种耻辱活着 How will you ever live with the shame?
Caroline：你能相信就是Han救了我们吗 Can you believe it was Han who saved us?
Oleg：是啊 我没看见枪 Yeah, I did not see a gun coming. 我看见了双节棍 忍者烟 抓头发
I saw nunchucks, ninja smoke, maybe some hairpulling, Max：但就是没枪 But not a gun.
Oleg：晚安了 女士们 Well, good night, ladies. 我觉得今晚我们都很勇敢 I thought we all
acted very brave tonight 不 我们中的一部分〔对Caroline〕 Well, some of us. 〔离开〕
Caroline：是啊 我受了惊吓还尿了裤子 Oh, yeah, I had a trauma, and I urinated 这真搞笑是吗 Ha, ha! That's hilarious.这件事就不能过去吗 Am I ever gonna live this down? Max：它不过发生在 10 分钟以前 It happened, like, ten minutes ago. 好吧 我们就此打住了
Okay, let's move on.
Caroline：瞧 有人留下来电影院的免费爆米花赠券 Oh, look, someone left a coupon for free
movie popcorn.
我很想逃离这里去看电影 在我...Oh, I'd love to escape to a movie after my-- 我只是想逃离这里 Well, I'd just love to escape. 现在看电影要多少钱 200 块吗How much are movies now, like 200 bucks?
Max：跟我去的话 就是免费 Unless you go with me, in which case, it is free. 明天我带你去
I'll take you tomorrow. 我 2 岁的时候就偷偷溜进剧院 I've been sneaking into theaters since I was two. 爬进\"海的女儿\"的剧院 I crawled into the little mermaid 带着一整包麦圈 with a sack full of cheerios 还有一整瓶婴儿健怡可乐 and a baby bottle full of diet coke. Caroline：我们要怎么做 麦克斯 怎么做 So what do we do, Max? What do we do? 藏在后巷
里 直到道路畅通 Hide in the back alley till the coast is clear, 开门的时候 偷跑进
去吗 and when the door opens, make a break for it?
Max：不 这不是上世纪 40年代 No,' cause it's not the 1940s. 只要直接找到引座员 We just
go right up in the usher's face, 找个借口 大胆地走向目的地 make an excuse,and then boldly walk with purpose.
Caroline：好吧 示范给我看看 Okay, well, just show me how. 你来指导我You can direct me.
我演过很多剧I've done a lot of plays. 我能做伊莉莎 杜丽图(英国女歌手)I could do my \"Eliza Doolittle\" \"学会礼貌之前\"的步姿〔这一段请看视频，走得非常搞笑〕 before she was civilized\" walk. 嗨 管理员 Hello, governor.
Max：太丑了 真希望没看见过 Wow, that was just ugly. I wish I hadn't seen it. 好了 看我怎
么做 All right, just watch me. 〔Max演示〕走走走 甩头发 走 Walk, walk, walk, hair flip走走走 甩头发 走 Walk, walk, walk, hair flip 〔这一段请看视频，走得非常帅〕 Caroline：走走走 甩头发 走 Walk, walk, walk, hair flip〔Caroline演示 把头发用力甩乱〕 Max：很好 但轻点甩头发 维罗史密斯(童星 威尔史密斯的女儿)Good, but easy on the hair
flip, Willow Smith. 旁白：“头发甩甩大步走开”小姐们离开了餐厅，前往电影院。These 2 “Hair flip and go”
girls left the diner for the cinema. 〔两人离场，Usher 上场〕
第三幕 电影院〔溜入〕
(两人入场) Caroline：：引座员〔英文：usher 不是那个亚瑟小子〕就在那 -我有点紧张-There's the guy.
-I'm getting a little nervous.
Max：好吧 我们开始 Okay, let's go. 假装上气不接下气 Pretend we're out of breath.
〔Caroline夸张地大喘气〕上气不接下气 不是让你头脑发昏 Out of breath, not out of your mind.
〔两人走向Usher 〕嘿 抱歉 Hey，sorry. 我们能回剧场一下吗 Can we just run back into the theater for a second? 我 落那了 里面有她的抗癫痫药处方 I left my iPhone in there, and the prescription for her anti-seizure medication's on it. Usher：好的 要进哪个剧场 Yeah, which theater were you in? Max：第五剧场 11点 15开场 Theatre five. Went to the 11:15. 1 点 20结束Got out at 1:20.
有点长A little long. 可以砍掉 10 分钟的Could've cut ten from it. Usher：快点出来 OK，Be back soon. 旁白：2个小时后，她们看完了一场电影，正准备回餐厅时，又碰到了带位员。2 hours later,
after watching a film, they are about to get back to the diner when they meet the usher again.
〔从放映厅出来，再次碰到Usher〕
第四幕 电影院〔被逮〕
Usher：女士们 能给我看下你们的票吗 Ladies, may I see your tickets, please? 〔Max甩头离开〕
Caroline：票 麦克斯 你买...Tickets? Max, do you-- Usher：能给我看下你的票吗 Can I see your ticket, please? 你们在里面那么长时间都干什么
了？What have you been doing for so long？〔Han上场〕
Han：卡洛琳 Caroline?
Caroline：嗨 亲爱的 Hi, honey.〔一把搂住Han〕 Han：你好 Hello? Caroline：亲爱的 我忘了我的票 Honey, I forgot my ticket. 〔对Usher〕我的票在他那儿 He
has my ticket. 〔Caroline甩头就走〕
Usher：你俩是情侣吗 You two are together? Han：〔尴尬〕是啊 怎么了〔迟疑〕Yeah, why? Usher：哦，这不关我的事 Oh， it's none of my business, 只是你对她来说有点儿太老了 But
you just seem too old for her Han：我才 29 -I’m 29. Usher：-什么What?〔破音，停顿〕 --我要看下你和你女友的票Uh, I'm gonna have to see you
and your girlfriend's tickets. Han：〔翻翻包〕我找不到了I cannot find it.〔表现出很害怕〕我亲爱的主啊…Dear lord… Usher：先生 你知道偷溜进剧院是重罪的吧 好吗Sir, you know that sneaking into a theater's
a felony, right? Han：是吗 It is? Usher：按照法律，你得进入电影院监狱并且留下一张大头照。According to the law you have to be put into the movie jail and have a mug shot.
Han：(面露囧色)身负这种耻辱 我要怎么活下去啊 How will I live with the shame? 〔Usher把Han押下舞台〕
旁白：Caroline掏出了电影院回到餐厅，有点因为Max扔下自己而难过。Caroline escaped
from the cinema then head for the diner. She was a little bit upset that Max left her behind. 她或许感到自己被抛弃了，但她不是一个人在战斗〕She may say she was abandoned, but she was not the only one〔套用了John Lennon的Imagine中脍炙人口的一句歌词：You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.〕—— 祝Han好运！Wish Han good luck.
第五幕 餐厅〔吵架 和解〕
Caroline：瞧瞧这是谁啊 Well, well, well, look who it is. 头发甩甩大步走开小姐 Hair flip
and go.
Max：我不知道你在搞啥 但感觉很诡异 I don't know what you're doing, but it feels weird. Caroline：-瞧 是谁又这样故意走啊走啊，又丢下我一个人 Now, look who's walk, walk,
walking with purpose away from me again.
Max：-什么 这有啥大不了的 What? It wasn't a big deal.
Caroline：但知道吗 我很好 But you know what, I'm fine. 事实上 我非常高兴 你走了 I'm
thrilled, actually, because you walking away 让我明白一件事 Gave me one thing. 我很满足I got the satisfaction of knowing 终于知道你跟我一样自私 That you are just as selfish as me.
Max：你怎么能这么自私的说这种话 what a selfish thing to say.
Caroline：麦克斯 你可以就那样走啊走啊 丢下我 you can walk,walk, walk away from me,
max, 但是你永远丢不下一个事实 But you can't walk away from knowing 是你先离开的 That you split the scene.
Max：什么 我以为你就跟着我后面啊 What? I thought you were behind me,
Caroline：这就是真实的我们啊So this is who we are, huh? 两个自私的女孩儿 永远把自己
Two selfish girls who always put ourselves 放在最前面 Before everyone else and are willing 为了生存 不管代价To do anything to survive?
Max：大概是吧 Guess we are. Caroline：〔走上前搂住Max〕姐们 咱要在纸杯蛋糕竞争中突出重围 Man, we're gonna crush
the cupcake competition. 麦克斯 即使我们很残忍 But, Max, even though we're ruthless, 但常常 我们会主动 Every now and then, on our own behalf, 把自己放居第二位 We do put ourselves second, 这才让咱成为好朋友的 And I guess that's what makes us best friends. 经历了那么多糟糕的事，我相信等到我们发家致富的那一天还是会为彼此考虑的。After all this mess we’ve been through, I believe we will still take care of each other some day when we get rich.
Earl：这才对嘛，姑娘们。Yeah，that was right girls.就像Han和Oleg一样，他们那么弱爆
了的人，在遇到抢劫的时候也会舍身救大家。Just like Han and Oleg，weak as they always was，they still offered to rescue us at all sacrifices during the robbery.更何况你们的心灵比上他们其实要强大得多呢？Moreover，you are more powerful from the bottom of your hearts. Caroline把Max推出去只是因为尿裤子了，自己不好意思出去对不对？Caroline pushed Max towards the robbers just because you are ashamed of your peeing，right？
Caroline：〔低头〕是啊。Yeah.
Earl: Max直到跑远了才发现Caroline没逃出来对不对？Not until you ran far away，did you
found you left Caroline behind，right？
Max：是啊。Yeah.
Earl:其实我看见了你们一直很为彼此着想。In fact，I see you two are always considerate of
each other.
Max：〔呕吐状〕太肉麻了！That‘s too disgusting.我应该从没做过那样的事 I don't think I've
ever done that.
Caroline：不 你做过的 Yes, you have. 在我无家可归的时候 You let me stay on your couch
你让我睡你的沙发 When I had no place to stay.
Max：我想是的 I guess I did.
Caroline：我给过你...And I gave you… Max：说啊 Go ahead.
Caroline总有那么一回 我没把自己放第一位吧 Well, there must be something where I
didn't put myself first.
Max：啥时候找到了 跟我说一声 let me know when you find it. 〔Max笑笑，离开〕
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