作文中的句子

作文中的句子修改

unity and coherence

1.Born in a small town in South China in the early 1950s, he grew up to be a famous musician.

He was born in a small town in South China in the early 1950s. In his childhood he liked to sing songs. Later, he entered a conservatory. In the 1970s he became a famous musician.

2. Du Fu was one of the greatest poets.

Du Fu was one of the greatest poets of the Tang Dynasty.

3. A man is judged not only by what he says but also by his deeds.

A man is judged not only by his words by also by his deeds.

4 We thought she was charming, intelligent, and a very capable young woman.

We thought she was charming, intelligent, and very capable.

We thought she was a charming, intelligent and very capable young woman.

5. We have great faith and high hopes for her.

We have great faith in and high hopes for her.

6 She told my sister that she was wrong.

“I am wrong,” she said to my sister.

My sister was told that she was wrong.

7. He was knocked down by a bicycle, but it was not serious.

He was knocked down by a bicycle, but was not badly hurt.

8. Looking out of the window, the grassland stretches as far as the eye can reach.

Looking out of the window, I can see the grassland stretching as far as the eye can reach.

9. On entering the classroom, the students stood up and said, “Good morning!”

On entering the classroom, the teaching was greeted by the students, who stood up and said, “Good morning!”

10. To get ready for the trip, all the things she needed were put into a suitcase.

To get ready for the trip, she put all the things she needed into a suitcase.

11. She bought several picture books and put them into her bag, which she intended to give to her children.

She bought several picture books for her children and put them into her bag.

She put into her bag the picture books she had bought for her children.

12. The idea he mentioned at first sounded good.

The idea he mentioned sounded good at first.

13. He gave a reason for not attending the meeting, which nobody believed.

He gave a reason ,which nobody believed, for not attending the meeting.

He gave a reason for not attending the meeting, a reason which nobody believed.

14. An important thing for the student to remember is that when writing a paper, you should not plagiarize.

An important thing for the student to remember is that when writing a paper, he/she should not plagiarize.

15. Those who wish to take Linguistics are expected to sign his name on this sheet of paper.

Those who wish to take Linguistics are expected to sign their names on this sheet of paper.

16. Students should learn to analyze and solve problems independently. Don’t rely on your teachers’ help.

Students should learn to analyze and solve problems independently. They should not rely on their teachers’ help.

17. She reviewed the lesson taught last week and all the exercises assigned by the teacher were done.

She reviewed the lesson taught last week and did all the exercises assigned by the teacher.

The following sentences are not unified or coherent. Try to improve them.

1 She began to speak very fast at the meeting at ten o’clock.

The meeting started at ten o’clock, and she began to speak. She spoke very

fast.

2 Bernard Shaw was one of the best-known playwrights.

Bernard Shaw was one of the best-known English playwrights of the 20th century.

3 The houses were mere shanties, and rags were stuffed in the cracks and holes.

The houses were mere shanties, with rags stuffed in the cracks and holes.

4 I read the novel on the train, which did not interest me at all.

On the train I read the novel, which did not interest me at all.

5 A well-dressed man admitted us to the house, and we later learned that he was a thief.

We later learned that the well-dressed man who admitted us to the house was a thief.

6 I lost some important documents and found them three days later. The police had helped me.

The police helped me to find some important documents which I had lost

three days before.

7 we entered the shop, and a salesman greeted us, and all kinds of shoes were on the shelves, and the prices were quite reasonable, and a lot of customers were buying them.

A salesman greeted us when we entered the shop. We saw all kinds of shoes on them.

8 Tell Helen, if she is at home, I will come to see her.

Tell Helen, if she is at home, that I will come to see her.

9 Listening attentively, a faulty sound was heard.

Listening attentively, he heard a faulty sound.

10 On entering the room, no one was seen.

I entered the room and saw no one.

11 Fred is energetic, capable and a man you can rely on.

Fred is energetic and capable. You can rely on him.

12 The children promised to be careful and that they would return home

early.

The children promised to be careful and return home early.

13 Dickens’ novels offer no solution to the social injustices he exposes in them.

Dickens’ novels offer no solution to the social injustices exposed in them.

14 My watch is either fast or yours is slow.

Either my watch is fast, or yours is slow.

15 Glancing out of the window, a beautiful view attracted my attention.

A beautiful view out of the window attracted my attention.

16 He nearly finished reading ten books during the vacation.

He finished reading almost ten books during the vacation.

17 If interested in painting, a course can be taken at the evening school.

If you are interested in painting, you can take a course at the evening school.

18 She said that she would come if she could, but not to wait for her.

She said that she would come if she could, but we needn’t wait for her.

19 To tell my friend the good news the letter was posted at once.

To tell my friends the good news, I posted the letter at once.

20 I will go to the lecture, for I like his poems.

I will go to the lecture, because I like the speaker’s poems.

Conciseness

1 It was blue in color.

It was small in size.

Mary is a quiet and careful woman.

He returned in the early part of the month of August.

2 He gave many reasons for the failure, but the reasons he gave were not convincing.

He gave many reasons for the failure, but none of them was convincing.

3 In my opinion, I think your plan is feasible.

In my opinion, you plan is feasible.

I think your plan is feasible.

3 This machine was jointly designed by the old engineer in collaboration with some of his younger colleagues

This machine was jointly designed by the old engineer and some of his younger colleagues.

This machine was designed by the old engineer in collaboration with some of his younger colleagues.

4 There was a pine tree that stood like a giant on the top of the mountain. It towered over the trees around it.

The pine tree on the top of the mountain stood like a giant and towered over the trees around it.

On the top of the mountain was a giant pine tree which towered over the trees around it.

5 Mr. Smith usually likes to drink all kinds of wines that are produced in France.

Mr. Smith prefers wines produced in France.

Mr. Smith prefers French wines.

6 LI Qing, who was a first-year student of the college, would go to a park near her school every day in the morning. She would bring a small recorder with her. In the park she would find a quiet corner and listen to a tape of English stories.

Every morning, Li Qing, a first year student of the college, would go to a nearby park, bringing a small recorder with her. There she would listen to a tape of English stories in a quiet corner.

Revise the following sentences. Try to make them concise.

1 In the year 1840 the Opium War broke out.

The Opium War broke out in 1840.

2 There are more books in their library than in our library.

Their library has more books than ours.

3 He returned back home after he graduated from college.

He returned home after graduating form college.

4 We planned to meet just before sunrise very early in the morning.

We planned to meet before sunrise in the morning.

5 The cause of the flood was due to the heavy rain in the late spring.

The flood was due to the heavy rain in late spring.

6 He was asked to repeat the sentence again.

He was asked to repeat the sentence.

7 I play badminton equally as well as my brother.

I play badminton as well as my brother.

8 it seemed to his friends that his attitude was of a puzzling nature.

To his friends his attitude was a puzzle.

9 These watermelons are large in size and sweet in taste.

These watermelons are large and sweet.

10 He did not tell the truth with an honest attitude.

He did not tell the truth.

11 There are a number of students who want to join the drama club.

A number of students want to join the drama club.

12 He was kind enough to let me share the same umbrella with him.

He was kind enough to let me share his umbrella.

13 Zhao was the person who was elected the representative of the class by the whole class.

The whole class elected Zhao their representative.

14 At the present time I am taking the course of World History and in addition a course in geography too.

I am taking two courses: World history and Geography.

15 The plane circled around the airport for about ten minutes or so and then disappeared and could no longer be seen.

The plane circled the airport for about ten minutes and then disappeared.

16 What I am trying to say is that in my opinion he has not done his work very well and it needs improving.

I mean that he has not done his work well enough.

17 I would like you to consider the question of whether or not you will publish your recent article on women scientists in China in our journal.

I would like you to consider whether you would like to publish your recent article on women scientists in China in our journal.

18 Owing to the fact that he had missed many lectures, he was aware that it would be possible for him to fail the exam.

As he had missed many lectures, he knew that he might fail the exam.

19 You must first work out an outline for you paper, and then after you have done that, you need to collect all kinds of material to support your point of view.

You must work out an outline for your paper, an then you need to collect all kinds of materials to support your point of view.

20 In that country violent death had become a common place thing, a thing that occurs every day.

In that country, violent deaths occur every day.

21 He is not only a good pianist, but also a good singer as well.

He is not only a good pianist, but also a good singer.

22 This pretty actress keeps appearing in TV serials repeatedly.

This pretty actress keeps appearing in TVserials.

23 as a rule, students are usually not allowed to take books out of this reading room.

Students are not allowed to take books out of this reading room.

24 According to the speaker, it is obvious that the responsibility system has helped to increase production and he has not doubt about it.

According to the speaker, the responsibility system has helped to increase production.

25 One reason why people are well informed in this country is because of the fact that there are many newspapers which can easily be bought or subscribed to.

One reason why people are well informed in this city is that there are many newspapers easily bought or subscribed to.

26 Statistics show that in the decade from 1980 to 1990 enrollments at this school doubled: in 1990 there were twice as many students as in 1980.

Statistics show that from 1980 to 1990 enrollments at this school doubled.

27 there are so many inexperienced unskilled workers without training in a particular job that production of the factory has been affected.

There are so many workers without training in a particular job that production of the factory has been affected.

28 there are about 50 patients or so in this ward, among whom many are being given acupuncture treatment.

There are about 50 patients in this ward, and many are being given acupuncture treatment.

29 His name is called James Williams.

He is called James Williams.

30 Whatever he does, he works seriously with great care, and does his best so as to do it well.

Whatever he does, he works seriously and does his best.